Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Travel Notes - Haikus Through Colorado

Why the heck did I do it?  Why the heck do I do anything?  Because it's fun.  All my trip notes were posted on FB in haiku form.  I decided to collect them here for convenience.

I am going to 
Make all my Denver trip notes
Vacation haiku.

Airport people rude. 
TSA? A-OK day. 
Very early flight.

Today's flight theme should be:
Middle aged women go pee.
They all brush past me.

Stewardess must rest
The flight is not very full
N keeps magazines

So many plane snacks!
We're on the way to Denver
Do not have munchies

Marijuana ha.
If I had it could I say
Vituperously?

Prep for baggage claim
I have to remember this:
To stay baggage calm

Plane is on descent
Can't describe how excited
Let the fun begin!

Happy Birthday N
Hope you have a great weekend
Rocky Mountain "Huh"?

We have just landed
No head shop in the airport?
Denver, WTF?

The crisp mountain air.
At the passenger pickup
Is so refreshing!

Say hello to the
Devil horse with orange eyes.
Bids farewell to you.

Denver Biscuit Co
Biscuit Cinnamon Roll yum
Denver is awesome

Only 10 a.m.
Two sandwiches already.
Delicious Denver.

Haha too much food.
I will need to run it off.
Time for food coma?

Amphitheatre:
Red Rocks. Am I out of shape?
Or just short of breath?

Photo: Uh oh where's Nicole.  I need to get a picture.  Oh shit - a selfie!
Uh oh where's Nicole. 
I need to get a picture. 
Oh shit - a selfie!

Girl walking up the
Red Rocks trail barefoot. "Good for
You, little hippie."

Thirsty Lion closed.
They open next Tuesday ... But...
Today lunch is free...

Photo: From the thirsty lion, 16th St Market - training day. We sure lucked out.
From the thirsty lion, 
16th St Market - training 
Day. We sure lucked out.

Got back in the car. 
Time on car is 4:20.
Ironic, ain't it?

Just chill and get Thai.
After long, wonderful day.
Now is time for sleep.

If you do not know,
And an argument will blow,
Google that shit, yo.

Nikki is sleeping
But I am not tired enough.
She is so adorbs.

Oh how I love a
Raucous round of Cards Against
Humanity. Good times.

Just so you all know.
Nicole's birthday tomorrow.
In case she forgets.

BeauJo's Pizza place
Has pizza with Mountain crust.
Dip that in honey.

Photo: This is mountain crust.  Chicken cordon bleu pizza. First bite amazing!
This is mountain crust. 
Chicken cordon bleu pizza. 
First bite amazing!

A beautiful day
In a tiny mountain town.
With beautiful girls.

Seem to be fighting
Constant battery issues.
Jeez. Seriously.

Photo: Kourtnie likes pictures.
So we took us a selfie.
While we were waiting.
Kourtnie likes pictures.
So we took us a selfie.
While we were waiting.

Off to see Boulder.
"A bunch of dirty hippies."
I can't wait to see.

Looking forward to
Seeing Odd 13 Brewing 
Out in Lafayette.

I got my first whiff
Of earthy B.O. just now
In downtown Boulder.

Pearl St. In Boulder.
Far more girls wearing bras than
I had expected.

50/50 is
Male to female ratio.
Odds good but goods odd.

Black IPA yum
At Odd 13 Brewing Co.
In Lafayette yeah.

Photo: Yep, that's filet mignon.  With bleu cheese on crostini.  Fucking amazeballs.
Yep, that's filet mignon. 
With bleu cheese on crostini. 
Fucking amazeballs.

Ok, so anyone
Want to buy our roomy house?
Moving to Denver....

Okay I get it.
Howl at the Moon not for dudes 
Just the drunk bridesmaids.


Oh dear God I'm old.
Those are not dresses ladies.
They're hotdog casings!

Oh the things you see
Muffin tops on strapless dress.
Oh no! Can't unsee!

Photo: Somehow I managed... To be part of someone's night... Farewell, Felicia?
Somehow I managed
To be part of someone's night.
Farewell, Felicia?

Apparently I won't
"Live dat shit down" says Nicole.
Goddamn weirdo, yeah.

Oh it's my liver 
Had enough? It says to me.
Fucking pansy-ass.

Mmm, smell that bacon.
Kevin Anderson cooking.
Om nom nom nom nom.

Hey Nicole Davis!
Just got one thing to ask you.
Did you sleep alright?

Tommyknockers pub.
Tundrabeary summer ale.
Simply refreshing.

Photo: Notice something odd? Weird place for power outlet.  It's GFCI...
Notice something odd? 
Weird place for power outlet. 
It's GFCI...

Some fine Grecian food.
Final dinner of the trip.
Yummy baklava.

Two minutes twenty
Seconds is too long for a
Wall sit. My poor thighs!


This somehow, somehow,
Reminds me of our weekend.
Too much food and drink?

Haiku, like Twitter,
Creates beauty solely from 
Brute force brevity.

Is not here this morning. Please
Leave a message. Beeeeeeep!

Relaxing morning.
Some internets and email.
Back to reality...

Photo: Tattered Cover Books - A reminder of how I ... Don't read anymore.
Tattered Cover Books - 
A reminder of how I 
Don't read anymore.

Photo: I found a book that ... I might like, but I do not ... Feel that suburban.
I found a book that 
I might like, but I do not 
Feel that suburban.

Horrible person:
Cards Against Humanity...
This shit writes itself...

Unisex bathrooms.
What an awesome idea
For single seaters.

What's pane Bianco?
Really? For shame on Udi's!
We call it white bread.

Last Comic Standing 
Winner Josh Blue also ate
Lunch here at Udi's.

Our flight is delayed.
Probably the Midwest storms.
Don't wait up for us.

Alley sale behind
Says they sell "Furn tools" there. Might 
As well say "Turn fools."

At Denver Airport
Chilling with my lovely wife.
Ahhhh, what a great trip.

Dyson Airblade fine
But XLerator is
Better at drying.

In Denver Airport
You can now come in for a
Bikini waxing.

Wheels down Chicago.
Roughest descent in ever.
Hooray almost home!

Finally at home.
The haiku has to end now.
Bet you are relieved...

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